Oh god I hope not

So since it's my blog, I figure I can ask some really stupid questions here, right?

Long story short, next month Jay and I will be attending a public fetish-y event.  The reservation form for the event asks for scene names.

Neither of us fucking has a scene name.

Are scene names required?  Having never been to this kind of event before, I seriously have NO FUCKING IDEA.

Help?

Um.

So I opened my mouth again, and Jay and I drove down to the Flea yesterday.

OH GOD IT'S PEOPLE AND OUT IN PUBLIC AND BALAHAHAHAHAHAH

Ahem.

We wandered a round for a while, just getting the lay of the land and adjusting to being in a kinky public space.  We don't do that very often.  But once we were feeling a bit more comfortable, we bought a few things.

The first thing we bought was a paddle.  Nothing large, just a small hairbrush-type.  It's small, and rather pretty.

And it stings like fucking hell.

Jay, naturally, is enamoured of it.  "Ooh!" says he.  "I can smack you a lot and my hand doesn't hurt!  And your ass turns red so much faster!"

Oh why thank you darling, that's lovely OW OW OW OW OW.

He also tried it out my my breasts.  It was still an OW for me, but a very different kind of ow, which Jay picked up on rather quickly.  Activities commonly referred to as "breast torture":  I LIKES THEM.

Regardless, I have the feeling that this, our very first paddle (how the hell were we kinky for ten years, and including so many spankings, and didn't have a paddle?  I don't know.) is going to be making a LOT of appearances.

I popped my con cherry

So Jay and I have been traveling this past week, and part of the itinerary included Providence, RI, home to a few good friends of ours from college who we haven't seen for a while. It happened to be my friend Elaina's birthday this past weekend as well, which neatly coincided with the New England Leather Alliance's Fetish Fair Fleamarket. In conversations with Elaina prior to the weekend, it was decided that we should spend the day on Saturday at the Flea, you know, since we were in the neighborhood and all.

Now, my initial reaction, after I agreed to this idea of hers, because of course I agreed to this because I am cool and cosmopolitan, was, HOMIGOD, I am going to be out in public at a kinky event and I am not sure this was a good idea. You see, for all of my sophistication, I don't do the whole "no, really, I'm kinky" thing. You know, there's a reason that this blog is anonymous, okay? I am not okay with being "out there", at least with kink.

So I sucked it up and went anyway. There were a half a dozen of us who went, and while I thought it would be really weird to be at a kinky convention with friends who don't know that I'm kinky it... well, wasn't. The nice thing about these friends is that they're all adults and really couldn't care less.

Now, when we first got there, I was kind of freaking out a little bit. I wasn't exactly sure how I was supposed to handle the whole "convention" thing. So, I treated it like I was at an event back in the days when I worked in the queer community - just relax, don't stare, take it all in stride. And, it worked. True, I saw some really odd things there, and I did repeat "your kink is not my kink, but your kink is okay" a LOT, but, honestly, I had a pretty good time.

There were a couple of, well, moments. First was one of those "holy shit, people from the internets are REAL" moments, when I got to meet Monk and alex and bought rope from them. I like to think I was a cool customer. I probably wasn't. I was thisclose to saying "teehee I read your blog" and introducing myself. That was a little too gutsy for me, however, so I settled for buying lots of rope, and being disappointed that there was no Bavarian Blonde.

The second was when I guess I gave away a little too much, because Elaina totally gave me a look, like, "how do you know this?" One of her other friends was going to a class, and she was trying to figure out which one. She mentioned that it was being given by Midori, and I said, without thinking, "Oh, probably something about rope bondage then". She Looks at me. I shrug it off and say "I am the queen of knowledge on the internet, dude." I think she suspects that is not so much the case.

Finally, Jay bought me a corset. It is delicious and wonderful and I loves it SO MUCH.

But yes, a good time was had by all. I may even be persuaded to attend another public kinky event at some point. Maybe.

Attention_whore++

I have a little bit of an exhibitionist streak, but not enough to actually post any naked pictures on here. Still, I've finally decided to add a profile picture. In it, I am wearing one of my favorite collars, and you get to see my hair, which I am in love with all over again after seeing this picture.

I am in fact a girl, no matter how much I may act like a guy; therefore it is a-okay for me to be in love with my hair (and I totally am).

Now, I started this blog mainly as a way to work out some stuff about my life, mainly kinky, that I couldn't really talk about anywhere else. I like to think that I have done that, quite a bit, and I see no reason to stop doing so. It's immensely helpful just to get it all out, somewhere, before I have to talk intelligently about it. Not that I talk about all of this, but, well, you know. It's always helpful to have one's thoughts organized. And mine are frequently disheveled at best.

But knowing that other people read this... well shit, it's damn fun. If enjoying this fact, even perhaps getting a small, non-inflating ego boost from it, makes me a stereotypical "blogger", then so be it. I'm human, after all, and I like it when people pay attention to me. I like it a lot. I think it's one of the reasons why I'm a sub, actually. Subs tend to get lots of people paying attention to them, and usually in very delicious ways.

Not that I'm above paying some attention to other people. Of course not; I'm not completely narcissistic. But... I like it when people pay attention to me. And knowing that people read this blog (and will now be looking at a picture of me, regardless of the fact that you can't really identify me from it) is a really nice way of getting attention paid to me. Sure, there might not be that many people doing it, but that's perfectly okay. In the end, this is all for me anyway.

But I'm an attention whore. And I'm okay with that.