Tuesday, February 05, 2008

to put the world to rights

You know, it's really difficult to take pictures of really tall boots while you're wearing them. At least, I find it difficult to get a picture that I like.

A week or two ago, I had asked Jay if he'd be willing to indulge me in what I believe I termed as "serious rope". Not so much predicament bondage, or anything that would cause me pain in any way, but being seriously tied up and immobilized by vast quantities of rope. There's a kind of zen in being unable to move like that, in the presence of someone you love. I needed that.

For whatever reason, we haven't managed it yet. We've both been tired - me more than usual; hating my job tends to make me sleepy, which I am ascribing to mild depression - and busy. I spent the weekend at a friend's house last weekend, which also didn't afford us many opportunities to do anything. And, Jay being Jay, he wanted to have a definite plan in mind.

I'm not posting this to complain, however it might seem. But... I still need that moment of calm. I need to feel that giving up of the effort to control everything - giving up that feeling that I have to be in control, like I have to be in charge and be a rational adult. It's difficult for me to relax completely unless I'm forced to. Rope just happens to be a really good way of calming me down, and giving me the ability to let go and just be. It's one of the few things that can reliably shut my nattering mind up, without giving it extra things to work over later.

My calendar is looking rather free on Saturday at the moment. I think that I will be penciling him in, if he's amenable to the idea.


Jocelyn said...

mmm...sounds delicious. I'm very jealous since I can barely get The Hubster to bind my hands-just with a scarf. You have to post a scene report. Horny, enquiring subs need to know. *g*

french said...

I live but to serve :D