Time to take her home

It used to be, when I was younger, that I could simply drive my problems away. If I was having a particularly rough night, and needed out, I could hop in the car, put it on the highway, and peg the fucking thing and be done with it. I'd return home refreshed, relaxed, and able to re-tackle my life. Gas was cheap and plentiful, the car was made for cruising, and my parents didn't pay that much attention to when I got home from work.

The last time I updated was one of those nights where I needed desperately to escape, so since I have a car again (for the first time in like, eight years), I decided to see if it still worked. I got myself on the highway and just drove.

I wound up in the next state over. The radio was playing shit, there were too many cars out to really speed a lot, and all the time, I realized that I couldn't just drive away from my problems. Growing up truly is a bitch and a half.

I also realized I forgotten the $10 I'd just taken out of the ATM at home. Worse, my debit card was at home, which was now about an hour and a half away, and therefore useless. I did the entirely classy thing of paying for a large fries and small Coke at McDonald's entirely in change. I have a change purse. It's pretty empty right now.

Still, when I got home, I did feel better about life. There's still a lot of shit, but I at least escaped the same four walls for a while, and that can't be discounted. And since then, I've made some strides towards fixing what's wrong, instead of just running from it or hiding. Hopefully I can make it a habit. It's a lot harder to speak the truth than to soft-pedal someone with a glib lie. And lying is always so easy; it always has been.

Tomorrow is a bonus day off of work (the only reason I'm awake right now is because I was in the emergency room with one of my kids until nearly two). I believe I will get up, work on my chairs, clean my room a bit, and blog about Jay, because clearly I am far below quota on mentions of him these past weeks. But first, I sleep. Lots.